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Fuck. Marry. Kill.

  • The New Movement 616 Lavaca Street Austin, TX, 78701 United States (map)

Dating in the modern era is weird, am I right? Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk, Match, Elite, Coffee Meets Bagel, Grinder, Happn, Plenty Of Fish, OkCupid, & oh my does the list of Dr. Seuss-sounding app names go on. But just where can we get together and share our bad (or good) stories about those swipe-and-go meetups? Let’s talk about the sizzling flings. Let’s talk about the one who became your darling one-and-only. Let’s talk about the ones you wish you could swipe off the face of the earth. Let’s talk about apps, baby.

Join Breanna Bietz as she sets up a date-worthy night of storytelling, standup, sketch, and games. She’s sprained her index finger swiping through the depths of the virtual dating pool, only to find that no one has been cleaning it with chlorine. If you can’t laugh at love, then what can you laugh at? Farts? Those are also good.

Tickets are $5 at the door!



Are there ID requirements or an age limit to enter your events?
Unless specifically stated above, our Austin theater is all ages and BYOB. However, if the event states that we’re giving out free booze (which sometimes happens), you’ll have to show a 21+ ID in order to partake. Our New Orleans theater has a full-service bar in it, so anyone 18 and under must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. Other than that, our programming tends to be PG-13 & up, so keep that in mind. 

What’s your refund policy?
If you buy an online ticket, you should arrive 30 min before the start of the show to guarantee getting a seat because we also sell tickets at the door and usually have a crowd waiting for no-show seats. If you don’t arrive at least 10 min before the show, your seats could be given out to people on our waiting list, and if that happens, you will not be entitled to a refund as we don’t offer refunds after the show has started.

This show is presented by talent from The New Movement, the nerve center of comedy in the Gulf South. TNM is a duo of bustling conservatories that train the best comedians in New Orleans and Austin, it’s an aggressive programming machine that held over 1200 shows across 50 cities in 2015, it’s an event production company that produces festivals, workshops, and tours like Hell Yes Fest and the Air Sex Championships, and it’s a never-ending hustle to put the south on the comedy map. In New Orleans, arrive early for the show and grab a drink at our patio bar, Rosewood. In Austin, come early to chill in our downtown lobby lounge and meet the best comedians around. Register for our sketch & improv classes year-round at #WeLiveComedy

Earlier Event: October 12
Pinoy Ako: Filipino-American Variety Show
Later Event: October 13
Penalty Box